Positive Liberty

Maryland Governor Robert Ehrlich will veto legislation that would have let same-sex couples register for the right to make medical decisions, to visit in hospitals and nursing homes, and to plan funerals. It is unclear right now whether the veto can be overridden.

The decision affects me personally. I am in a committed seven-year relationship that my nearest biological relatives do not recognize. They may very well prevent my husband Scott from visiting me if I were incapacitated and would almost certainly reject his advice on end-of-life decisions.

It is absurd that my parents should be the ones to make medical decisions for me. I am not a child–yet the law treats me as an infant if I am incapacitated, and it would deny me the most important emotional support that I could have in times of need. The following is a true story:

Lisa Polyak and her partner, Gita Deane, have been in a committed, loving relationship for 24 years, and have 2 daughters. Lisa and Gita experienced shame and separation at a time when they should have had no other focus than the new life they were about to bring into the world. They were in the labor and delivery ward at Union Memorial Hospital in Baltimore, and Gita was pregnant with their 2nd child. Gita’s labor contractions became too intense and Gita asked for an epidural. The couple had gone to considerable effort to inform the labor nurses, the obstetrician and attending staff that they were together as partners and wanted to be treated that way for the duration of their hospital stay. They filed a Birth Plan, brought along copies of Power of Attorney, and did all the planning they thought was necessary. When the the anesthesiologist arrived to administer the epidural and prepared to thread the catheter into Gita’s spine, Lisa was sitting with her–holding her hand and rubbing her back as the labor pains peaked and receded. The anesthesiologist forced Lisa to leave upon finding out she was not “family.” Lisa left the room in the interest of expediting the procedure.

The most charitable thing I can say is that I do hope heterosexuals are getting some benefit from all of this, because gays and lesbians are clearly suffering. Equality Maryland documents some even more egregious cases of real-life refusal here. Many of them happened despite the individuals having taken legal steps like executing a will or a power of attorney, steps that we are told make marriage rights unnecessary or redundant. How any of this helps strengthen the heterosexual family is beyond me. Do episodes like these really give comfort or reassurance to faltering heterosexual relationships? I simply can’t believe it.

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